The phrase “gender wars,” is often used to silence Black women speaking about gender-based inequality. Indeed, many shy away from talking about women’s issues for fear of ostracizing men. However, this framing is misleading, as it presumes both groups exist on an equal playing field, that both sides want to engage in battle, and that any critique of the systematic mistreatment of women is indeed an attack on every man. Some men use the phrase “gender wars” in the same way White people use the phrase “culture wars” to silence Black Americans. However, reducing the inclusion of black history in the classroom into something as trivial as a battle between cultural groups attempts to neutralize something that is inherently unbalanced. Removing black history from the classroom is a decision that sides with White people, whose narratives are maintained, and against Black people—it’s not neutral. In the same way, the phrase “gender wars” attempts to neutralize something that is inherently imbalanced, the social conditions of men and women, and reduce it to a seemingly silly battle between these groups.
In a world where men and women had equal rights, “gender wars,” may sound trivial. However, in American society, where women’s reproductive rights are left unprotected following the Supreme Court striking Roe v. Wade, women continue to make less than men, fill fewer leadership roles, and disproportionately endure gender-based violence. It’s unfair to reduce the serious problems women face and their desire to speak plainly and openly about those issues to start a “gender war.” Many women feel they’ve been unfairly pulled into a battle they never asked to be part of. If there is a war, women never enlisted. Nevertheless, the point of discussing the unique challenges women face is to foster support for solutions to the problems, not throw down the gauntlet and declare our intent to wage war. And it’s counterproductive to suggest as much.
Black women carry a heavy burden as they experience misogynoir and discrimination based on their race and gender. This term was coined by writer and scholar Moya Bailey in 2008 as a graduate student at Emory University to characterize a combination of “misogyny,” referring to hatred against women, and “noir,” the French word for “black.” A unique form of discrimination requires the efforts of a unique type of activism, one that acknowledges Black women have a right to speak about issues and that considers them valued members of the community who should be heard. One of the reasons “gender wars,” is offensive is because it suggests both groups are on an equal playing field, when we know that’s not true. Gendered violence is a problem in American society and throughout the globe. And the persecution that all Black people experience because of their racial identity doesn’t negate the need for that conversation. Black women are six times as likely to be killed compared to White women—more than 40 percent experience intimate partner violence during their lives. Additionally, Black women make less than any other group in the country, even slightly less than Black men. Given this context, using phrases like “gender war” ignores the injustices Black women experience and falsely positions them as the aggressors in a battle.
On the Raw Secks podcast in the Spring of 2023, Tommy V suggested, “Feminists make it harder for women.” This rhetoric suggests that if women speak out about the injustices they experience or advocate for fairer treatment, they are guilty of perpetuating an endless battle between men and women. He complained that the city of Atlanta, Georgia, has become too liberal, citing signs that read “regulate guns, not women” and girls taught to “be leaders” as examples of the societal changes he’s dissatisfied with. While girls and women are fighting to restore their reproductive rights in various states, Tommy believes they shouldn’t have those rights. Of course, these ideas are not new, they in many ways mimic what conservatives often say, regarding women’s rights. However, it doesn’t change the fact that this rhetoric overlooks gender-based inequality or the right for women to have their own political agenda.
Last July, when Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority opened the first credit union that was a Black-owned, women-led, sorority-based, digital banking financial institution in the history of the country, one post claimed this effort was tantamount to starting a war. It’s “interesting how Black men always try to help the whole community, but Black women are only interested in helping Black women #GenderWar,” a Black man posted, quoting the video of women celebrating the moment. First of all, Black men have fraternities just as Black women have sororities, and thus, it is not uncommon for Black men to create programs to facilitate the economic advancement of Black men, nor is this practice unethical. Secondly, the credit union is for members only (FMO) but also allows family members and staff to open accounts, and thus would extend to some Black men, those either married to or related to AKA members. Lastly, the false notion that Black men always include the entire black community and that Black women never do is pure fantasy. There are various examples of Black men-led organizations leaving out Black women, such as The Black Panther Party for Self-Defense’s 10-Point program, which called for the release of all Black men from prison, but not Black women. It’s okay that women’s organizations meet gender-specific needs, and ostracizing this practice only maintains racial and gender-based inequality.
Hauwa, the writer, expressed the irony succinctly in a viral post, “gender war, but only women are dying.” In a war, there is bloodshed and heavy casualties. But, the gendered violence targeting women shows only one side is suffering heavy losses. Far too often, Black women are accused of starting a gender war when they speak about domestic violence, sexual assault, and femicide under the premise that such discussions are so divisive they would separate their communities. However, if talking about the mistreatment of Black women is divisive enough to trigger a “gender war,” then we should question who we are trying to remain in community with. It would seem in poor taste to prioritize the comfort of abusers in a movement designed to foster unity within the black community. We mustn’t be so desperate for unity that we sell our souls. It matters that the pro-black movement we’re building in the modern era does not alienate Black women.
In 1987, Prince asked a question that struck a chord in his song. “Would you run to me if somebody hurt you even if that somebody was me?” His timeless lyrics suggest that in a truly loving relationship, you should be able to tell the person who harmed you what they did wrong. However, if Black women talk about the injustices they experience for being women, and Black men and others respond by accusing them of starting a war, it’s clear this is a loveless relationship. Thankfully, some Black men are willing to listen to what Black women have to say, even if it’s to share a critique of men’s mistreatment of women. But the prevalent use of the phrase “gender wars,” suggests we have much further to go before some men acknowledge women are not interested in a war. Nor are they willing to sacrifice their rights for male comfort.
References
Atlanta Girls School All Girls School X feminists making life harder for women X gender war by Raw Secks by Tommy V. Spotify for Podcasters. (n.d.).
Totenberg, N., & McCammon, S. (2022, June 24). Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade, ending right to abortion upheld for decades. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2022/06/24/1102305878/supreme-court-abortion-roe-v-wade-decision-overturn
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I wish there were some encouragement to offer. We throw the word "war" around like it was a natural outcome of every inequality or difference of priorities.
But women, and Black women especially, have been under a silent "attack" through policies and attitudes that prevent even a hint at attaining equal footing.
Keep your voice strong and whether it's a war or a skirmish (or a rebellion as David noted), you have to defend yourself and be careful who claims to be allies.
This conflict is not so much a "war" as it is a "rebellion" against unjust forces- you can probably figure out who the "rebels" are.